dahliahart

mmm

my name is a beautiful contradiction. a dahlia is a bright flower that opens for the sun.

im more alive under the moon.

mmm

there’s something about today that gave me clarity.

i wasn’t given everything i wanted. but i accepted and was gracious for what i do have. is that growth? did i find the secret to life? am i seeking comfort in the multiverse as a way to accept the present? knowing that some other version of me can enjoy what i don’t have and vice versa?

part of me wants to lean in to that possible delusion. another part thinks we make these things up to feel better, as people do with religion.

no two people see life in the same way. last night there was a lunar halo. i read that everyone sees it differently.

such is life.

D

mmm

who am i writing this for? you? me? him?

all of that can be true.

maybe this is my form of therapy. letting my thoughts escape from a chasm in my mind. maybe i want to be noticed and appreciated for the way i put words together. maybe i’m putting all of this out there just in the hopes that one particular person sees it.

fuck it. here we go.

D

midnight multiverse musing

i know the multiverse is real. it’s where we end up together. right now you’re sitting on our deck looking out at the water, just after sunrise, your hair short (you’re going for a more classic handsome look in that world), and i bring out our morning coffee and tea (that version of me likes hot drinks i guess?) and i wrap my arms around your neck, my long braid falling to the side as i kiss your cheek. we have each other and that’s all we ever need. there’s no kids but in that universe, that’s the way we want it. my long white dress catches in the wind as i move around the table to sit down with you. you grab my hand and tell me you love me in every universe. for a second i look into a different one and see our love is from a distance and i smile knowing someone else needs me there so it’s for the best, but basking in the warmth of the present.